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Just a lil FYI......I write here for me and me only. I hope to use this space to help me remember the good, the bad and the ugly!!! I may also voice my feelings on a few things here and there, if you don't agree with them, cool and please do feel free to let me know. BUT....(there's always a "but" huh???) be nice these are MY feelings and thoughts and it's MY blog so again be nice!!! Thanks again for stopping by and I hope you will check back often as I'm really trying to make myself post more often. Sometimes just writing things down help to get things off my chest so to say, and it does me feel better.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

How I lost my bladder and right kidney!

OK, people this is gonna be a long one I hope to cover it all in one sitting but can't promise you that will happen. Get yourself some tea, a stiff drink, wine or whatever your drink of choice maybe, here goes!!! It was Febraury 23, 1996, I worked an eight hour evening shift, then I was begged to work the night eight hour shift from 11 PM to 7 AM. Had never in my life ever had a UTI, well as that night shift progressed I knew exactly what was happening, I was experiecing my very first UTI and I so didn't like it much!!!!! I got someone in the lab to run a UA for me and yup I was correct, so I was then off to find a physican to write me a script. Within hours of taking the first dose I began to feel much better! Great I got my first UTI and it was on it's way to being history, no issues, so I thought until a week later it was back and it was back with lots of blood, pain and tons of hell!!! So I call a urologist who just happened to be a good friend of ours. My husband and he scuba dove together and often went boating. Life seemed wonderful!! He said I just hadn't taken a long enough course of antibotics and that I'd be fine. Days passed and I wasn't fine at all, I couldn't pee and if I could it was pure blood, and lots of pain. Fever and other sucky sytomps that go with pylonephritis were making me feel horrible full force. So I'm admitted to the hospital and find I have a small kidney stone and that my urine culture grows MRSA, fucking great!! I get that horrible drug vancomycin and think I'm on my way to living life as before. Boy, if only I'd known how wrong I was at that time!! About a week after discharge all of the same crap is back, this time it's treated out patient. Time goes on and I have numerous infection after infection and am bleeding like crazy. So it's time for a cystoscopy in the operating room, "just in case". That was the first of many, many bladder resections and right urteral stent placements. This goes on from about April until September, I'd have the stent removed and think life was going back to "normal", not happening to say the least. By September I'd had bladder resections and stents approximately every two weeks, followed by hospital admissions a day or two following the stent removals and bladder recections. Let me back up a bit, I NEVER knew I was even having bladder resections until mid-November. In Septmeber I have a huge obstruction and he had a very hard time doing the bladder resection that time, so he calls my husband at home on a Saturnday morning to tell him that he really feels I have bladder cancer and he's about to make rounds and to tell me the same, nice!! So I freak for a few days until the path report comes back and says no cancer but no idea what's causing all of this crap. Nice, between that time and mid-Novemeber I had bladder resections and stent placements and removals approiximaltely every two weeks. During a hospital admission in November he tells me he has no bladder left to resect and that my bladder was about the size of a plum and it needed to come out, no other way to stop the bleeding. Oh great, wonderful I tell him I didn't even know I was having bladder resections to begin with, his reply, "oh I didn't want you to worry so I never told you", nice huh?? Guess that explains why I'd feel so dam bad after "just" a stent placement! So he informs I need to have my bladder removed and that he didn't plan to send me to a large teaching hospital because no one could "make a neo-bladder better than me". I should have freaking ran, and ran fast at that point but didn't!!!!!!!!! January comes and I have my surgery, all goes well I'm told. He was able to reconnect my bladder neck to the neo-bladder so I'd pee like a normal person before long, great!! I recover and am well for a while, no more bleeding but lots of right flank pain, lots of pain! As time goes on I become having issues with being incontinet, so I have a sort of bladder tack surgery, doesn't work, we go back and do it again, worse I'm almost never dry!! This brings us to August 1996, his "fix" for the leakage is to tie off the bladder neck and pull the pouch up to my umbilicus and make a catherizable stoma for me to empty the pouch. Great! Should have known it wasn't going to be good, when I end up with a puctured lung because he had to be the one to put my central line in, wouldn't allow someone more experieced, no way he could do everything BETTER than everyone else, remember? NOT!!! So during this hospital admission I not only have to deal with a body altering surgery, now I have to deal with chest tubes because my doctor was a hard headed ass and had to do it all himself!!! Great!!! So I slowly progress and am able to discharged. I am sent home with a cathiter in my bladder having the suprapubic tube removed during my hospital stay. It's a very slow recovering but determinded to recover and be a mom to my young kids keep me going as did a wonderful husband. OK, this harder emtionally than I planned on so I'm gonna stop here and post this much and then come back either later tonight or tomorrow and post the rest, sorry I just need to get a grip, casue the rest sucks even more than the crap so far. All I can say is FUCK YOU, you dumbass MPD!!!!! If you didn't guess those are my uroligsts intals. fucker is all I can say. OK I'll be back when my heart isn't racing and my eyes aren't tearing so badly, I hate this it sucks it still makes me feel this way all these years later, I swear that fucker shouldn't have a hold on my life!!! Sorry about the cursing but that's just me!!!!
Marie

4 comments:

NEO-CONDUIT said...

Thank you so much for sharing this Marie!!!
It gives a huge insight into another persons experience of where things can go wrong. You know my empathies are strongly with you, and this must have been damn hard for you to write!Hugs Kirst

Odette said...

wow...reading it makes my blood boil as well! i wonder why you didn't bother to get a second opinion from another doctor. but i understand coz many times we trust our attending physician with our life becoz we thought they know what they are doing.
hey, i don't mind the explicit language at all. feel free to swear all you want!

Marie said...

Kris: Thanks for always being so thoughtful and supportive, it really does mean a lot to me! Thanks!

Odette: AS I said before I did get a second opinion and it was partly my fault I allowed him to bully me I so see that now but when I was in the mist of it all it was hard to see. I kept thinking he was going to "help me" not hurt me, such is life. Thanks for reading and your support as well.

NEO-CONDUIT said...

Marie I didn't realise it was you that odette was talking about regarding the bite. Man I am an idiot, I hope things are better now!!!
Waiting anxiously for your next post!
xoxoxo