I'm not exactly sure where to even begin!

My last post spoke of a wonderful vacation we had just returned from enjoying. Man do I wish I could say we were once again headed on vacation. Lots has gone on since that time, last summer was a typical summer for us, we spent time traveling to see our grown children. That's always fun for sure!! We were blessed with a beautiful grand son in late October, oh how handsome that lil guy is!! His big sister could mostly take him or leave him, cute for sure. I wish were could spend more time with those sweet lil ones, I'd go to the moon and back for them. It's very bitter sweet knowing they are all so close but out of our reach, just heart breaking. I can only hope and pray that one day things change and we are once again able to see the kids. I wonder non stop exactly what the almost three year old is being told when she askes for me-me and poppi. I may not want to know what she's being told, which again is heart breaking. My favorite sister and aunt came to spend my birthday with me in October, wonderful feeling to know they drove all the way here just to see us!! Their trip was cut short by someone who is a bit spoiled as well as selfish. Hindsight is 10/20 as they say and it certainly. I can say that I refuse to ever ask my house guests to leave early for any reason and certainly it won't happened just because someone who doesn't even live in my house, "didn't want to deal with company"! As my father often said, "you live and learn" and he couldn't be any more correct. It was a nice visit with both of them while it lasted and I hope to be going to see them very soon. Around my birthday in October our 8 year old beagle was dx with congestive heart failure and given 3-6 months to live. We gave her lots of different meds, nothing really appeared to help our poor girl!! It was very sad to watch her go down hill. Somewhere around the first of March she took a turn for the worse and we knew things weren't good. I took her in and we did some med changes and if possible gave her even more love. Much to my sorrow it just wasn;t meant to be, she lost her two days later. Heart breaking to say the least, we have comfort in knowing she wasan't made to suffer and she had a fab life with us and was very much loved!! As far as my health, still good and bad days here and there. In Janaury I had a very long and scaary hospital stay for approximately 27 days or so. Those days were spent between ICU and step down ICU, not my idea of fun at all. It took me until the last Friday of February to be able to say, "you know I really think I feel better". Truly a very scary time to say the least. I was again readmitted in mid April for about a week. So very glad it didn't drag out as the Janauray admission had. I think this is pretty much the cliff notes of what's been going on in my life. I could or shall I say I wish I could go into way more details with certian issues but am fearful of who maybe reading. Not that I have a single thing to hide, but it's just not worth the drama anymore. I don't think the person I'm concerned may be reading but I'm not THAT conviced, so until I can figure out my traffic and stuff like that, this is how it's going to be!! Maybe I could look into pass word protected posts or anyone else have any good suggestions? I could be wrong but I don't think Blogger offers pass word protected posts. There have been way too many times where I'd love to have written just so I can keep track of the time line of events, but again that fearfulness that someone maybe reading just waiting to cause even more drama, and I refuse to be put in that place once again. Some very good things have transpired during this time as well, such as our lil beagle who was so very sick back in Novemeber of 2012. You may remember she was sropped off at a firestation a very, very sick lil girl!! They said she was 2.5 months old but only weighed 3.1 pounds. Long story short or you could go back and read Moon Beam's posts, we ended up finding out a few weeks later that she was only 21 days old when dropped off. The slackers who dropped her off orgianlly were "kind" enough to bring her AKC papers by a few weeks later. Anyway we strugged, she struggled for months of being ill, just one thing after the other, the poor lil girl had it rough!! Then she was a horrible eater and well know she's spoiled rotten to say the least. Isn't such a great eater even today but we can deal with that as long as we can keep her healthy!! She finally has been well long enough that we had her spay and her extra teeth removed a few weeks ago. Talk about funny, she never lost her baby "K-9's" before her adult ones came in. I truly think that was a huge deal with her eating issues, or shall I say I thought!! She does eat better as I said but never have I met a beagle who turns food down!!!! Intereting fact: she begs for your drink!! Yup drink, doesn't matter what I happen to be drinking she wants some of it!!! Nuts???? I say yes!!! OK well I think that's all for now, any suggestions on the pass word thing or how to figure out who is or isn't reading would be most helpful to me. The little detail I've already written I can say I do feel a bit better and I can only imagine if given the chance to get even more off my chest would be such a freeing feeling!! Marie

Meet Rocky.....David's new partner

This Rocky he is I believe about three years old and he is Belgian Malinois (hope that is the correct spelling, you cause I can’t spell and all), they look very much like a German Shepard. I believe David told me the way you tell them apart is a “mal” has a larger head and ears and are little more muscular. Now don’t quote because my memory is about as bad as my spelling and it’s only like 3:30 AM and I’ve been up since about 6:30 AM yesterday. This dog has been deployed before once I know for sure and I’m not sure where to but he’s only been back about two weeks now. Rocky is a narcotics and patrol dog. FYI….patrol dog, means he can ride in the car with his handler and knows what to do should things go “South” as they say. AKA knows how to basically kick ass and take names later!!!! I’m not sure if anyone knew the meaning of patrol and just in case you think as I do, now not to insult anybody just a little FYI, just in case.
I have a bit of a dilemma here, But you’ll a little back story sort of ok, so hang on it might get a little confessing but it’ll all come together, K). When I lose something, break it, miss place it or whatever I might do with an item (that belongs to me no one else) hubby gets all of his feathers ruffled up and gets into his lecture me on being more responsible and all that crap. Now that you have a little of the back story let me back up a bit more and say I often do have a very bad habit of doing ALL of the above. Yeah I admitted isn’t that the first step of something or the other??? Hubby had been bitching that his new glasses felt lose and he just knows “that girl” at the eye doctors messed them up and he needed to take them in to be fixed. I mean that would only be right considering he had just gotten them less than a month before and had spent about $400!!!! Needless to say he was slightly busy at the office and never got around to it. So while we were visiting with the kids at Christmas, the dam arm feel right off his glasses while they were still on his face!!!!! Oh holy hell I had to turn my head because I wanted to laugh so badly (but knew better for sure!!!) So he was about to start whining like a little girl, I said wait, you should have taken them in when you said you were. Well hell we all know he didn’t like hearing that now did he???? Nope, well too bad dude!! So he very quietly handed me the glasses in the case and all (remember the above confession????) and said here YOU please put these away so I can take them back when we get home. Well that was mistake number two for him in my book; anyway I really truly thought I put them in my luggage. So we get home and unpack, he says just set my glasses by my keys I’ll run by on my way to the office, um I don’t have your glasses!!!! &^%$@R%@$%Y$I*IUY even worse words than I use came out of his mouth, I very quietly waited till he finished and said well you shouldn’t have given them to me to hold. He knew I was right and walked away mubble-mubbly. Hasn’t really said anything about the glasses since one reason is they have to be at the kids somewhere because we know they didn’t leave their house and we are going up there in a few weeks so we can look and I hope find them. Reason number two for not saying much see confession above. Flash forward to tonight we spoke on his way home he was worn out glad tomorrow is Friday and all of that good crap (and really he has been crazy ass busy at work and you know you can’t get good help anymore it snows a tiny bit and the dam people can’t come to work for three days!!!!!!!! Seriously they closed on Monday, Tuesday three hours late, that day, NONE, not one of his employees “could get their cars out, yeah right so really he’s been beat up the last few months with lots of conversions and crap there so yeah he is worn out), he says I’m pulling in the garage bye. Then I hear him downstairs cussing like crazy, (I look to see both dogs are with me, so what the hell is he bitching about??? Normally it’s the dogs jumping on his suit and “I don’t need dog fur on my suit!!) So I go see what his deal is and he said all quite like a dam kid in trouble………I put my iPad on the roof of my car because my hands were full and I can’t find it now. Wow, that really sucks is truly what went through my mind, if we are being honest and all here!!!! So he tells me as he is getting on the interstate he thought he heard something, but he thought it might be a file or something moving around his back seat because he had people his car at lunch and crap got moved around. So he then says…………….you know when I heard that noise I thought dam I hope I put my iPad in my trunk!!!!!!!!! I knew I should have pulled over!!!! Well he didn’t, so we got retrace his steps, no iPad to be seen anywhere!!! Of course it’s really dark so we couldn’t really see either. So who knows where it is, he tried to GPS it but it’s not picking up, that could mean it’s crushed in tiny, little bitty pieces on the side of the road or just out of range. He has it password protected so unless somebody is a good guesser they won’t get in, after a certain number of tries with the wrong p/w it wipes everything out of it, so that’s good. Tomorrow, well a little later today he plans to leave a little early and retrace his steps and see if it turns up in the day light. If not, it’s not all so bad because we’ll only be out our $250.00 homeowners deductable. Considering by the time you the case, the screen shield, tax and the iPad that’s a little over a grand. So he’s out a quarter of what he had into it. Anyway so what’s my dilemma you might ask???? Well I so want to get all high and mighty and lecture him on being more responsible about keeping up with stuff and all as he does to me, right????? I mean wouldn’t you want to, too????? ha ha really I don’t care, cause I don’t really listen when he lectures me so it doesn’t bother me for the most part, but really I wanna do it to see how it feels,ha ha ha me so funny!!!! But then again he get really pissed at me and you I keep telling my sister I have to “good” because if he divorces me I might have to get a J-O-B!!!!!!!!!!! Oh no hell no I’m keeping my trap shut!!!! Really he wouldn’t divorce me cause he lobes me too much, ha ha may I really do live in my own word don’t I???? anyway of course I’m just saying I’d lecture him but you know he’s beating his own dam dumb ass self up so why waste my time and energy you know????? How the heck he deals with me and doesn’t just “kick me to curb” why oh why?!!!! OK so my rant is over.
I have been taking an antibiotic for seven days today for my sinus crud and pneumonia, so one would think I’d be pretty dam well covered for any other bugs trying to show their ass around town. But of course that isn’t so for me, so I began running a low grade fever today only around 100.7 nothing like the fevers from hell in the past thanks to my lucky little stars and all!! Not to mention my left flank area has been increasing more painful over the last I’d say three or four days but I didn’t really think too much very much about because at times I do hurt more than others. Not to mention I’d like it to be just nothing when I begin hurting more, you know sort of pretend it isn’t so!! Anyway with the fever today I began to think the right thing to do was to call my urologist and fill him in. I also fail to mention that I’ve had way more blood in my urine the last few days than I normally do, sorry a little TMI there. So of course I need to be seen, who didn’t think he might say that? I knew good and well that I’d need to be seen. Well of course!! Which as the evening has progressed I have become increasingly more nauseated to the point of not even being able to swallow pills or the drink to wash them down without feeling like I might puke. Which at that point might not have been such a bad thing since I’d not eaten anything all day and still haven’t. You know like less chunks to clean up. Hum, sounds more and more like I just might have a kidney infection!! Well I’ll be dammed there is a first time for everything huh?? Well more like the first this month, ha, but truly I may have jinxed my own dam self by thinking last week, wow I haven’t been in the hospital since like August/September and I haven’t had an infection since very early December. Like I was thinking I might even have been “cured”, well I can wish, think, beg, plead and all that crap, it’s my world after all! So I’m not so sure what his plans will be considering all of the blood and fever, which isn’t all that bad (fever not being so bad) but considering I’d been taking some pain meds today which have a bit of Tylenol in them. Might have been the reason my fever stayed fairly controlled, but I have that telltale sign of a fever, the headache from HELL. I never get headaches unless I have a fever, but then again maybe all normal people do, who knows!! I have a brand spanking new life port (main IV access that is tunneled directly into a large artery in my heart), so I might be able to do home IV antibiotics. That takes care of the issue of ridding my one and only sucky half ass not working left kidney but it doesn’t take care of the increasing pain nor the not being able to drink let alone eat crap. I mean I could sure stand to miss a meal or ten but this isn’t really the best way to do so, you know??? Also considering the fact that they already get a little freaked out when I have an infection in that only sucky half ass working organ when I’ve not been taking a huge bad ass high power antibiotic, so with that in mind I just might buy myself a ticket to club med this weekend!!! I’ve wanted to get away but not to that freaking place!!!!!!!!!! Nothing personal and all I really like “my” nurses and my doctor, so that’s not an issue. Well yeah it is an issue when I don’t have “my” nurses cause you know I already cuss too much and then you add not feeling well, being on lots of pain meds and me not liking you, well let’s just say it’s not a pretty sight and could scar young children for life!!!!! So that’s my plan for tomorrow anyone else have any fun plans???? I hope your plans/weekend will be much more entertaining than mine seems to be shaping up to. Should I not post in a day or three or four you know where I am. Getting room service and all that good stuff, only thing missing will be nice pretty pink drinks with cool names and tiny umbrellas!!!! Later my peeps, be good, but not too very good so that you have no fun and I’ll be checking with everyone when I can!!!! Nite-nite!!
Marie

Just another day in my life................

So I went to the doctors yesterday for this creeping crud I’ve had for a few weeks. I was lucky enough for my “cold” to turn into pneumonia in my left lung, just a small area so not terribly bad. Enough to make my short of breathe doing anything but sitting on my lazy butt, such is life!! I’m taking lots of medicines and I think the prednisone she gave has decreased some of the inflammation because my chest doesn’t feel as tight today as it has been. All good things, right??? Well one would think all good until they looked at my right lung, it has what they called a “mass” yesterday, but today when she called me with lab results she told me it calls it a “nodule”, basically something that shouldn’t be there no matter what they freaking want to call the dam thing if you ask me!!!!!! So I had several labs drawn the normal ones and then one called a “CEA” anyway it looks for “tumor load” in your body that maybe cancerous. My level came back very LOW, which makes me want to run and jump and say yippee, and all of that good stuff, but remember I’m a little SOB (no not son of a bitch, well that too but, short of breathe is what I was going for there). At some point after I’m over this little pneumonia I’ll have a CT scan and possibly a biopsy depending on exactly what they see. I feel better after getting the labs back but still am stressing a bit, I keep trying to remind myself that I’ve had two chest tubes in that lung as well as several blood clots that can cause scaring. All of which a plain old chest X-ray can’t truly distinguish between, so we wait and hope and pray and all of that good stuff!!!!!

OK, now on to some wonderful news on So-Co my famous beagle!!!!!!!!! Let me say I had a very long talk with her and told her that her peeing in the house was getting old as hell. She appears to understand what I’m saying. She tried to give me that crap about it being cold outside and or raining or snowing or any combo and how would I feel if I had to do my personal/private business outside in those conditions. I gently reminded her she was a D-O-G; she wasn’t impressed by me saying that. I made a deal with her if she would potty outside I drag myself outside with her each and every time I put her out. She seems to b e thinking this is a fabo idea, why you might ask????? Well first because she hasn’t had any more “accidents on purpose” in the house since the day of her post last week. I take that as a good sign she “gets it”. Don’t want to jinx us or anything like that but if I have to go out with this crazy dog each time to keep my carpets and my marriage healthy than that’s what I’ll do. I really think her “deal” is that she goes outside and just runs around and plays and sniffs to be sure no one that hasn’t supposed to be has been in her yard. I now let her out and allow her to run around a few minutes (if it’s not too cold or raining) then I say So-Co go potty, hurry lets go potty, she looks at me like I’m nuts but does follow through. It may take her a minute or three to find that right spot but she goes, so who cares, right?? Interestingly enough she has also taken it upon herself to bug me while I’m reading or playing around my computer to let me know she needs to go out!!!! She comes up and hits me with her paw, So-Co code for I need or want something, then runs to the top of the steps and waits for me to open the doggie gate and allow her downstairs. Baby steps, baby steps!! I just hope it all continues because you know I am sort of attached to my marriage and I have been enjoying clean carpets too!!! Her diet of a ½ c of green beans and a ½ c diet dog food seems to be going very well!! She had lost a good bit of weight, which was like 4 pounds or so a while back. Then I was in the hospital again for a while and she sort of somehow always seems to get off her diet during those times. I’m not sure how much she weighs right now but I know she’s too heavy because her clothes seem to be tight for the most part. Yes I said clothes, a girls gotta cover her goods up can’t be showing everything she has to the world out there!!! I’ve asked her to save herself for marriage or at least try to do so!! I know she’s not hugely over weight but I know beagles tend to gain as they get older and I don’t want her to have to lug around any extra weight than she has to, as for us humans it’s not very good for us. Me included but heck that’s a whole nether story in itself!!!

Since this seems to be an update post I might as well also mention that I asked the doctor yesterday for some “nut-nut” meds, OK, first of all I mean this in a jokingly way only!!!!!!!!! I do take mental health very seriously as one should, it just makes me feel better to call it that and since it’s my blog I can. So with that said she gave me a script for Zoloft, anyone out there ever tried it???? Feel free to give me any info, good, bad or the ugly. I’ve never really taken anything like this. Back when our son was deployed I did take Ativan everyone once in a while when I just couldn’t turn my mind off or when we hadn’t heard from him in several days and my crazy mind played horrible tricks on me. So we’ll see if it does anything for me, I suppose it may take a week or two or three before I really notice any difference. If I don’t feel any different in about a month or so I’ll just go back and see what else we could change it to or maybe even just not take anything we’ll see what happens. I will be sure that I cover all of that with my doctor first. You know sometimes doctors have no sense of humor when it comes to a non-compliant patient, I don’t understand why, NOT, it would bug me too!!!

OK my little friends I’m finished rambling along here, but before I close I’m sure interested to know who from Russia and Denmark have been reading my blog!!!! Mainly just because I’m being nosey, but also because I think it’s pretty cool that someone all the way over there found my lil ole blog in SC!!!! Have a wonderful weekend, stay warm my friends in the cold parts and the ones in the warm well I guess even though I’m jealous you enjoy your warmness!!!! They say we may get a little of the white stuff, all it will do is make a huge mess of traffic and the grocery stores I’m sure!!!!
Later,
Marie
Pictured above So-Co in nite-nite shirt!!! You know you love a nice dressed beagle!!! Go ahead and admit it, I'll wait!!!!

Come out, come out where ever you are!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi, my name is Marie, what's yours????????? I'm looking at my stats I have several sight views but no comments, wonder why?? Also interestingly enough I've had three views from Russia and five from Demark. So my internet friends please do speak up!!! I really don't bit!!! Sure I have a big mouth and sort cuss more than I maybe should but bit, nope haven't bitten anyone in years!!!!!!!! Like since the last time my mother told me if I were to bit anyone else she would take me to the dentist to have my teeth pulled!!! Um, OK i'll not bit anyone else!! So if you come to my crazy boring blog just leave me a quick hi, my name is, and I'm from would work for me, got it?? OK!! If you also have a blog leave me the information I'm always looking for more reading material.

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, I have had a very lazy day today for the most part I sat around and watched the steam cleaners clean our carpet. Man thoe guys can vaccum a house like no body's business!!!!! I asked the one guy if I could hire him for vaccuming alone. He said sorry that was his least favorite part of his job. So I'm guessing that's a no! I truly have no plans for the rest of this week for the most part. Really that'a not so true now that I think about it, I have a doctors appointment for this crud I've been fighting for over two weeks now. I sort of thought that since I can't breath very well upon laying down and coughing it just might be time be get it checked out!! The up side of this???????? I have to drive right past a Starbucks!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just going to have to stop in there, you know to make me feel better and all!!! OK, you know what you have to do, I'm going to jump in bed and cuddle with my lil beagle and watch a little TV, mindless TV of course!!! Good night internet friends!!!!!!!!!
Marie